PARSHA & DAF HASHAVUA
וימת נדב ואביהוא (במדבר ג:ד)
בנות צלפחד מנאן הכתוב דרך גדולתן
(ב"ב קכ ע"א)
The רשב"ם explains that
when the Torah is referring to their marriage then it lists them in the order
of their age because the norm is for the older one to marry before the younger one (and
that's how it actually happened).
Some Poskim say that this
rule of not marrying off a younger sibling before an older one applies only to
females.
Males who have the Mitzvah of
פרו ורבו there is no reason of holding back the Mitzvah because of an
older brother who is not
married yet.( אג"מ-מהרש"ם)
Some want to prove this
from נדב ואביהוא. Chazal tell us one of the reasons they were both punished
was for staying
single and not getting
married. If אביהוא would have had to wait for his older
brother נדב to get married then why
was he punished.
This is not really a proof
because if the older brother refuses to get married then there is nothing to
wait for and there is
an obligation for the younger brother to get married. Once נדב refused to get married then אביהוא was
obligated
to get married and yet
he didn't, therefore, he too was punished.
The ש"ך (Y.D. 244:13)
quotes the ב"ח " Both, brothers or sisters should not
marry the younger one before
the older one".
R.Moishe Feinstein zt"l
(Igros M. E.H.2:1) says that the ב"ח is only applicable if both are
engaged only then must
we marry off the older before
the younger.
A younger sibling (even
sister) may get engaged before the older sibling and get married if the older
is not engaged yet.
The (מהרש"ם (ח"ג קל"ו says that this Halacha is not a דין גמור but a Minhag Derech Eretz. Therefore in certain
cases ("בעושה משום דחק")
it is permitted.
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