Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 21- 5
It is forbidden to be served by a woman
at all, whether she is an adult or a minor, whether a slave or free, lest he
come to have forbidden thoughts. What service were they speaking of? Washing
his face, hands, and feet,--
Rema. Some say that all
this is forbidden only when they are alone, but in a place like a bathhouse
where many people are found, one may be washed by an idolatrous slave woman,
and this is the custom. And some say that anything not done in an affectionate
manner where his intent is
only for Heaven's sake, is permitted. Thus the custom is to
be lenient in these things.
Bach Quotes the Maharshal “ For this reason
the minhag is to dance with the Kallah (hand in hand)
so that her husband will love her or
for the kovod of her father, however, Talmidei Chachamim,
should refrain” (dancing with the
kallah)
The Bach adds that in his country
(Galicia) “the minhag was, even for Gedolim to dance with the
Kallah. Where the minhag is to dance
you keep the minhag, where there is no such minhag
then there is an issur (to dance with
the Kallah).”
The Poskim who strongly opposed
this minhag, (hand in hand) call this a mitzvah haboh beaveiro.
Eventually the Rabonim managed to
abolish this minhag of dancing hand in hand with the kallah
and instituted instead to dance with a
napkin held by the kallah.
For the father and grandfathers
of the kallah there never was a problem holding hands and
therefore the minhag continues on until
today.
The Chasidim replaced the napkin with a
gartel, probably to keep a further distance from the
Kallah or could be they had no
napkins.
Dancing and being measmeach the kallah
is a Mitzvah (Tur –mitzvah gedolah) and by using
a gartel or napkin it becomes a
MITZVAH instead of a Mitzvah Haboh Beaveiro.
For those who who never had the
original minhag (hand in hand) there was no need to
institute the new minhag of using a
napkin or gartel. Hence the opposition of the
Yeshivishe people for todays Mitzvah
Tanz.
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