The Yahrzeit candle

 

לז"נ הני תרי נשי דיתבן בגן עדן, רות בת ר' צבי יהודה ופעסיל בת ר' בונם ע"ה יום השנה ז' כסליו                      נר ה' נשמת אדם משלי כ' כ"ז There is no mention anywhere in ש"ס, רמב"ם,טור,שו"ע about lighting a candle on the day of a Yahrzeit.  The Mishna in Ms.Brachos (53a) that says not to use a נר של מתים for הבדלה, refers to a candle used for the Levaya etc. and not a Yahrzeit candle, which probably may be used for הבדלה. The   Gemoro  כתובות ק"ג ע"א  Rebbie left a צוואה  with his sons to have a candle burning at the table refers to Shabbos candles and not Yahrzeit candles. The first mention of נר נשמה is probably the כל בו in Hilchos Yom Kipurim. The כל בו writes to light a נר for deceased parents, on Erev Yom Kippur, so they will have a כפרה. The parents have a כפרה, because of ברא מזכה אבא, Mitzvohs a child does benefit the deceased parents. The טור writes (630) There is a special Inyan to have lots of candles in Shul on Yom Kippur. In the olden days, the largest and one of the few expenses a Shul had, was נר למאור. Beeswax was a very expensive commodity. It is possible, the חכמים tried to entice people to donate נר למאור therefore attached the special Segulah of כפרה for the מתים, a Siman Tov for the living and the Pasuk of נר ה' נשמת אדם for a Yahrzeit candle. The Chasam Sofer (Shu"t #6:27) writes he is unaware of a so-called מצוה רבה to light Yahrzeit candles at home or even at the קבר. The ביאור הלכה ס' תקיד quotes from the שו"ת כתב סופר (O.Ch65) that "on Yom Tov when we may not light a נר של בטלה ( a candle that has no purpose) it is best to light the Yahrzeit candle (if it wasn't lit before Yom Tov) in the room where you eat (purpose) or even better, to light it in Shul. (Mitzvah) Only for a שעת הדחק may we light a Yahrzeit candle for parents since it's done for their honor (כיבוד אב ואם) According to the מהרש"ל even though lighting a candle for parents may not be a Mitzvah, but since everybody lights candles and some are even מקפיד on this more than other Mitzvos, therefore, we allow him to light the candle on Yom Tov, so he will not be מצטער and have no Simchas Yom Tov. Mrs.Ruth Stefansky ע"ה, my mother in law was Niftar at the young age of 27-years leaving behind her husband Rav Akiva Stefansky Zt"l and 3 young children Mrs.Edith  (פעסיל) Dohany ע"ה &  her family were involved in saving hundreds of families from the Nazis ym"s . Amongst them, was my Mother ע"ה & her 2 siblings. Mrs. Dohany was also מוסר נפש  in helping Yidden behind the Iron curtain ברוחניות ובגשמיות  She was מוסר נפש having בריתות מילה and the סעודות performed behind the iron curtain. She sent with tens of Shluchim (My wife & I were one of them) medication, food & money and thereby being מציל נפשות of Yidden living behind the iron curtain Yehi Zichronon Beruchin