לז"נ
הני תרי נשי דיתבן בגן עדן, רות בת ר' צבי יהודה ופעסיל בת ר' בונם
ע"ה יום השנה ז' כסליו
נר ה' נשמת אדם משלי כ' כ"ז
There is no
mention anywhere in ש"ס, רמב"ם,טור,שו"ע about
lighting a candle on the day of a Yahrzeit.
The Mishna in Ms.Brachos (53a) that says not to use a נר של מתים
for הבדלה, refers to a candle used for the Levaya etc.
and not a Yahrzeit candle, which probably may be used for הבדלה.
The Gemoro כתובות ק"ג ע"א Rebbie left a
צוואה with his
sons to have a candle burning at the table refers to Shabbos candles
and not Yahrzeit candles.
The first mention of נר נשמה is probably the כל בו in Hilchos Yom
Kipurim.
The כל בו writes to light a נר for deceased parents, on Erev Yom Kippur,
so they will have a כפרה. The parents have a כפרה, because of ברא מזכה
אבא, Mitzvohs a child does benefit the deceased parents.
The טור writes (630) There is a special Inyan to have lots of candles in
Shul on Yom Kippur. In the olden days, the largest and one of the few
expenses a Shul had, was נר למאור. Beeswax was a very expensive
commodity.
It is possible, the חכמים tried to entice people to donate נר למאור
therefore attached the special Segulah of כפרה for the מתים, a Siman Tov
for the living and the Pasuk of נר ה' נשמת אדם for a Yahrzeit candle.
The Chasam Sofer (Shu"t #6:27) writes he is unaware of a so-called
מצוה רבה to light Yahrzeit candles at home or even at the קבר.
The ביאור הלכה ס' תקיד quotes from the שו"ת כתב סופר (O.Ch65) that
"on Yom Tov when we may not light a נר של בטלה ( a candle that has
no purpose) it is best to light the Yahrzeit candle (if it wasn't lit
before Yom Tov) in the room where you eat (purpose) or even better, to
light it in Shul. (Mitzvah)
Only for a שעת הדחק may we light a Yahrzeit candle for parents since it's
done for their honor (כיבוד אב ואם)
According to the מהרש"ל even though lighting a candle for parents
may not be a Mitzvah, but since everybody lights candles and some are
even מקפיד on this more than other Mitzvos, therefore, we allow him to light
the candle on Yom Tov, so he will not be מצטער and have no Simchas Yom
Tov.
Mrs.Ruth Stefansky ע"ה, my mother in law was Niftar
at the young age of 27-years leaving behind her husband Rav Akiva
Stefansky Zt"l and 3 young children
Mrs.Edith (פעסיל) Dohany ע"ה & her
family were involved in saving hundreds of families from the
Nazis ym"s . Amongst them, was my Mother ע"ה
& her 2 siblings. Mrs. Dohany was also מוסר נפש in helping
Yidden behind the Iron curtain ברוחניות ובגשמיות She was מוסר נפש
having בריתות מילה and the סעודות performed behind the iron curtain. She
sent with tens of Shluchim (My wife & I were one of them) medication,
food & money and thereby being מציל נפשות of Yidden living behind the
iron curtain
Yehi Zichronon
Beruchin
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