Now You Know The Rest Of The Story..........
The Torah Matzav
Thursday, November 17, 2022
Your Basherte is not Bashert
Everything in life is Bashert* except for your spouse,
who is not necessarily your Basherte**
The Chasam Sofer (Shu”t O.
Ch. 55) writes, the reason we don’t say שהחיינו when getting
married, is because the Bracha of שהחיינו is said only when
buying a new fruit or utensil etc. which it is totally dependent
on the Ratzon (will) of הקב"ה.
Hashem had in mind you should buy this fruit, and you have
no בחירה to change it for another one. Whereas a Shidduch if one
decides not to marry his Basherte, Hashem will not interfere with
his בחירה and will not force him to get married.
Where the will of humans is also involved in the acquisition, no שהחיינו
The Chasam Sofer is not concerned with the Chazal
that says “40 days before יצירת הולד - –בת פלוני לפלוני.”,