ת"ר
אשר בנה, אשר נטע ,אשר ארש ,לימדה
תורה ד"א שיבנה אדם בית ויטע כרם ואח"כ ישא אשה
(Sotah
44a)
When going
to war the above questions were asked in this order, to teach
us priorities in life Build a house first, plant a vineyard and then
get married.
The
Satmar Rebbe, Reb Yoilish zt”l ('ויואל
משה, לה"ק ב) writes, that this Chazal refers to a second marriage.
For the first marriage, marriage comes first, even before Parnasah
and housing.
His proof
is, The minimum age to serve in the army was 20 years. A person who at age
20, isn’t married is a חוטא (sinner) and wasn’t eligible to go to war.
For a
20-year-old, who never got married, these questions would not be
applicable, The Pasuk must be referring to someone who was married once
before at age 18 and is up to his second marriage.
Therefore
the Rebbe concludes that this order in Chazal is not applicable only for a
second marriage. A bachur getting
for the
first time need not worry about housing or Parnassah before getting married.
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