Friday, August 12, 2022

STOP DAVENING-START TALKING

 ט"ו בשבט


STOP THE DAVENING-START THE TALKING


There are Mosdos asking for donations geared especially to those who are desperate to find Shidduchim for themselves or for their loved ones.


These organizations offer to have Gedolim, Rebbes, Roshei Yeshivos, Rabonim, Kabbalists, etc. travel to Mekomos Hakdoshim and Daven for a Zivug on behalf of those who send in money.



We have a situation today where for every 120 nineteen-year-old girls there are only 100 twenty-three-year-old boys to go around.



SOLVING THE SHIDDUCH CRISIS WON'T HAPPEN BY HAVING גדולים DAVEN ON ט"ו בשבט AT קברי צדיקים  


It would be pointless to Daven that all girls should get married since there are simply not enough 23-year-old boys to marry all the 19-year-old girls.


This Tefillah would be asking for the impossible and might be considered a תפילת שוא. 


 The number one solution to the shidduch crisis is to narrow the age gap between the boys and girls getting married.

Davening for this to happen on its own is futile;


it is incumbent on us to take the measures to make it happen. The problem is man-made and can be corrected by man בעזהי"ת. It's up to us; we can and should change the trend of having such a wide age gap between the genders.


Perhaps, the time has come for מה תצעק אלי-- ויסעו. We must make a move to correct the problem. 


We need to TALK and make people aware that if nothing is done to remedy this problem, then 15%- 20% of the girls will remain Agunos for the rest of their lives. 



The only way to narrow the age gap is by facilitating and encouraging the boys to start dating at a younger age.  This can be accomplished if the Roshei Yeshivos are on board and implement policies such as:


1. The American Roshei Yeshivos should send away their Talmidim to Eretz Yisroel at age 20, and not allow them to stick around past that age.


2. The Israeli Roshei Yeshivos should not accept Bachurim over the age of 20


3. B.M.G. Lakewood Yeshiva should abolish the "freezer" rule.



Having the Bachurim go to learn in Eretz Yisroel at an earlier age means they will return to America at an earlier age, thus starting  Shidduchim earlier and thereby narrowing the age gap.





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