Whats First

                  ת"ר אשר בנה, אשר נטע ,אשר ארש ,לימדה

תורה ד"א שיבנה אדם בית ויטע כרם ואח"כ ישא אשה               

  (Sotah 44a)

When going to war the above questions were asked in this order, to teach us priorities in life  Build a house first, plant a vineyard and then get married.

The Satmar Rebbe, Reb Yoilish zt”l   ('ויואל משה, לה"ק ב) writes, that this Chazal refers to a second marriage. For the first marriage,  marriage comes first, even before Parnasah and housing.

His proof is, The minimum age to serve in the army was 20 years. A person who at age 20, isn’t married is a חוטא (sinner) and wasn’t eligible to go to war.

For a 20-year-old, who never got married, these questions would not be applicable, The Pasuk must be referring to someone who was married once before at age 18 and is up to his second marriage.

Therefore the Rebbe concludes that this order in Chazal is not applicable only for a second marriage. A bachur getting

for the first time need not worry about housing or Parnassah before getting married.