Bechiras Libo-Intresting Teshuva From The Chasam Sofer Zatzal

It is common for wedding invitations to have one of the following words printed on the invitation, עב"ל or עב"ג . Im Bechiras Libo - Ploni is marrying Plonis, the choice of his heart. Or Im Bas Gilo - Ploni is marrying Plonis, his Basherte. 

 The Chasam Sofer (Shu”t O. Ch. 55) writes, the reason we don’t say      שהחיינו when getting married, is because we make the Bracha only when buying a new fruit or כלי which it is totally dependent on the Ratzon (will) of הקב"ה.

 Hashem had in mind you should buy this fruit, and you have no Bechira to change it for another one. Whereas a Shidduch if one decides not to marry his Basherte, Hashem will not interfere with his Bechira and will not force him to get married. Where the will of humans are involved in the acquisition, no שהחיינו is recited. 

 The Chasam Sofer  is not concerned with the Chazal that says “40 days before – Bas Ploni Liploni.” , 

a) Ein li eisak benistores The Ch. Sofer . doesn't get involved with things happening in Heaven.

b) The Ari Zal has a completely different Pshat in this Chazal. According to the Chasam Sofer printing Bechiras Libo would be appropriate. Marrying a woman is one of the few things in life where a person has Bechira ,if to get married.