It is common for wedding invitations to have one of the following words printed on the invitation, עב"ל or עב"ג . Im Bechiras Libo - Ploni is marrying Plonis, the choice of his heart. Or Im Bas Gilo - Ploni is marrying Plonis, his Basherte.
The Chasam Sofer (Shu”t O. Ch. 55) writes, the reason we don’t
say שהחיינו when getting married, is because we make the
Bracha only when buying a new fruit or כלי which it is totally
dependent on the Ratzon (will) of
Hashem had in mind you should buy this fruit, and you
have no Bechira to change it for another one. Whereas a Shidduch
if one decides not to marry his Basherte, Hashem will not interfere
with his Bechira and will not force him to get married. Where
the will of humans are involved in the acquisition, no שהחיינו is recited.
The Chasam Sofer is not concerned with the Chazal that says “40 days
before – Bas Ploni Liploni.” ,
a) Ein li eisak benistores The Ch. Sofer . doesn't get involved with things happening in Heaven.
Ari Zal has a completely different Pshat in this Chazal.
According to the Chasam Sofer printing Bechiras Libo would
be appropriate. Marrying a woman is one of the few things
in life where a person has Bechira ,if to get married.
מאת רשכבה " ג ר' דב לנדו שליט " א ר " י ישיבת סלבודקא וַיְהִ֣י בְשָׁלֵ֣ם סוּכּ֑וֹ וּמְע֖וֹנָת֣וֹ בְצִיּֽו...
רבי רבי רבי איך וויל זיך מקשר זיין צו דיר The lyrics to this song are based on the Tefillah of the Breslover Chasidim who say before...
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